Tues 2.3.10

Another day, another dollar.

Not a huge trawl of humour today, but a reasonable smirkfest non-the -less.

Lad came back from the loo and one of the girls said, What's that hanging out of your trousers?
He grabbed his nether regions with a mixture of horror and embarrassment, standing, as he was totally exposed in front of the room. We could all see what she could see and laughed at the bunch of keys dangling from a tape that disappeared into his back pocket.

 Later, I bumped into the Head of Maths. He wondered if I had looked at the departments computer file as I might find it useful.
No, I said, I haven't seen your package yet. I think he thought I was rather forward!

Went to pick up the last of the insulation rolls and thought I'd blagged a bargain. The guy came out with 4 rolls, I thought I was owed 3. I didn't say so, but checked that they were all together and labelled as mine, which they were.

When I got home, I was miffed to find that these 4 rolls brought my total up to the 9 I had paid for. So no bargain to be had, but at least I hadn't broken the law.

.
These crocuses were fully open and enjoying the evening sun..

Still no news from the oven lady. She's a pain in the ass and I'm still climbing over the old oven that's been moved from place to place in the kitchen.

Tom and Rose came round. House full of insulation and looking messy and, somehow, dull. Rose left us for other things ans Tom wandered around the house with us talking us through the future wiring of the house: in detail. Dave made intelligent noises, I  took notes and queried details. Now we know what to do, there are no excuses for not spending the money and getting on with it. Well none that is apart from the mess (don't want to think about that too much), the time it'll take, the hassle, the lack of free time, the general drudge of living in a dark house caused of the dusty windows and the dust sheeting.

Knitting Tonight

The knitting group talked of many things.

Rhona got to talking about her teens. We were all looking at an old pattern; a lad in a Fairisle  tank top and his mum in one of those pointy boobed, Madonna bras (under a top. I know what you're thinking), reminded her of a far away time, long since shrouded by the mists of time.

She and her friend were planning on going to a local dance. The trouble was that she had no bust  as she was still in her teens and as a result, felt a little inadequate. The two of them decided to push the boat out, not to mention their chests and buy a new bra each. We were mesmerized by the slow, steady delivery of the tail and, knowing Rhona, the inevitably sorry path it would take. Rhonas' bra was several sizes too big. This was to accommodate the breasts she felt were hers by right. The day of the dance dawned and Rhona donned her sexy new under garment. She scribed with a smoky index finger, a series of circles around her right breast. She maintained fixed eye contact as she spiralled her finger from the flat plane of her chest, out to the very tip of her nipple, tipping a coquettish curve to her lips and eye line, finishing with a slow motion flick of her finger in our direction. Her pointy bra had those wonderful, stitched circles girdling each stiff, cotton cup.

Rhonas cup definitely didn't run over, so, having carefully nestled each proto breast into its' cavernous new home, she set about insulating the special cargo with some padding,  though what she used is, now,  long forgotten. On top of this comical cone duo Rhona chose to wear a ribbed and very tight fitting, black polo neck pull over; nice. Off she and her friend skipped to the hop. Later that evening Rhonas friend began using her elbow to jab Rhona in the arm, sharply and giving her darting looks and nods towards  Rhonas' twin peaks. Having brushed off her friend a few times, Rhona finally resigned to follow her friends'  gaze down, down towards the greatly enhanced chestal regions. She was confronted by one erect and impressive eruption and one deeply dented, deeply crumpled, deeply embarrassing, mountain range. Both were unmistakable under the skin tight, figure revealing sweater. They left the building; Rhona drew her forearm across her chest as she recounted her shameful departure and her intense feeling that every pair of eyes were  in that room were fixed on her and Tweedle Do and Tweedle Don't.

Sue brought in a copy of The Guardians' lonely hearts in the hope that there might be something for Rhona ….and, I suspect, herself. I have to admit that the term fails me now, but one  quite interesting  man described himself as wanting to share non sexual love. What d'you suppose that means? Rhona enquired. Spirits willing but the flesh is non existent!


Wednesday 3.3.10

A cloudy day with a bitter wind. It did warm quite a bit as the day went on.

My first customer of the day has a picture perfect garden, with all the necessities, summerhouse, gazebo, greenhouse, patio, lawns and beds, trad and tropical plantings, Yew hedge, the works.

 Under the compost bags I found this toad.

Later I found this frog in a border.

Both creatures had probably been on the move in the past few days of sunshine, only to conk out in this cold. Neither creature could move a muscle. They looked like models.









I found Earth Stars in the Froggy border. They're past their best now, but special enough to be worth posting here, in my geekey opinion. They're a type of fungi; mushroom;  toadstool. You get the idea.

Later in the day I pictured this subtle and yet stunning swathe of snowdrops and crocuses in a beautiful, though rather overgrown garden.

An evening at home, up to my ears in insulation rolls and that bloody oven squatting in the middle of the kitchen floor. The good thing is that Oven Lady has been in contact over the ether to say she lost her internet connection: BT had cut her off for no reason. We'll pick up the new toy tomorrow night, it comes with hob as well, we don't need a hob, so it'll have to go ASAP.

MeWally spent the evening cursing a thing called a Spyder. It calibrates the colours on the computer screen to match the intended colours of what we're looking at. It kept crashing. He kept cursing. In the end it worked; we think.


Thursday 4.3.10

No surprises, it's another day at school. It's not normally like this. Bonkers. People are mainly on courses and trips, there's less illness about at the moment, so that's something.

 Giggalicious things said today:
I don't like these calculators,  they've got funny forks.
What?
I don't like these calculators,  they've got funny force.
What?
I don't like these calculators,  they've got funny farce.
What?
I don't like these calculators,  they've got funny fours

for our lesson.
For an hour?
No, for our lesson.
For four hours?

I must get my hearing checked.

Straight from school to an elderly customer. We drank tea and chatted. His son's a professor of philosophy, so I took along MeWallys' new book 50 Philosophical Questions, or something like that.  He'll enjoy picking through it and next Thursday tea time we'll, undoubtedly have a debate. I love the work I do, even if it does slip sideways from the actual gardening from time to time. In fact that's one of the bonuses.

In the evening we went to get the oven from North Bristol. Not too far for us, about 40 minutes away. When we jumped into the car with it, we were overwhelmed by the smell of air freshener, or, possibly cleaning fluids. It was so strong , it made me feel sick.

We rolled home an stuffed the unwanted hob into the shed and the cooker into the living room. Then we ate, preparing the food by climbing over the old cooker in the kichen and then serving the food by clambering around the new oven in the living room.

Fitted new oven. It'll do.

Spent half an hour learning to drive the thing. It's all bells and whistles, with pop out knobs, and a screen for the  control panel. Over engineering at its best.

Then we heated the oven. The place filled with smoke. The seller was a big lass, I guess she was into roasts.

I added oven cleaner to our shopping list.


No call from the school. Forecast is for a clear blue day. Can't wait.A few chores, Gerry and digging will see me chipper.

Friday 5.3.10

Oh what a beautiful morning. Awake just after 6.30, AM (yes, that's right. For those who know me, I'm purely a weekend slouch......mostly). As I drank my tea and planned my upcoming day off, the phone rang and that was the end of that.

Met a member of staff in the car park and we strolled to the staff room together.
 Fantastic day
I'm too old.
What?
I'm too cold.
Ears, that'll be the problem.

One of the staff told me about a recent reprimand which followed him/her jokingly asking a class, to, Put hands up if you don't like --------it was one of the students in the room at the time. Parents weren't too pleased.

Really strange conversation about a persons name, They must have married an Elk. Can't say any more, probably said too much already: professionalism you know.

Miss,Miss, can I help. Pleeeeeaaaaasssssee.
No thanks. I'm beyond help. Run away, save yourself, I'll limp on alone.   ???????????
No, I have no idea WHAT I was thinking.

And then we all stopped for lunch.

At home I checked out my garden. It's all happening out there, slowly.

Decided to clean the oven as well as pack.