A Customers Tale

Last Wednesday I turned up to a customer's with a few fungi in hand, that I'd picked from his lawn. He's a rather 'well to do' gentleman and told me a fungi related tale thet had been told to him by a Great Aunt.

I MUST SHARE IT WITH YOU.

My customers' Great Aunt was married to a top high court judge and they lived in South Africa. His Great Uncle decided that they should have a banquet for all the people he didn't like, but that etiquette demanded that they entertain. He said that they should,  Get it over and done with.

The invitations were sent out and the plans were laid.

The day before the event, a local boy came by with a basket of wild fungi. He did this from time to time. On this occasion the staff member that always double checked that the fungi was all edible, was away, so Great Aunt asked the local lad if they were all safe to eat. He said that they were, and that he had never brought over any inedible, or poisonous fungi. Great Aunt agreed with this and accepted the goods. She also let her husband know, to which he joked, Well, let's hope that this time some of them are poisonous!

Great Aunt had been rather nervous about the fungi and, immediately after the local lad had left, she had fed some to the family dog, which he seemed to enjoy and, subsequently, he had shown no side affects at all.

The next evening the meal was prepared and the guests arrived. Great Uncle decided not to eat the fungi, just in case.

As the guests were eating the course that included the fungi, one of the servants arrived and asked to speak, in private, to Great Aunty. He said, The dog has just died. It was too late for Great Aunty to stop her guests from eating the fungi, as they were now finishing the suspicious course. The guests were unaware of their peril. Great Aunty was in turmoil, but could tell no one.

Later that evening , after the last guest had left, Great Uncle congratulated his wife on her super evening, describing it as a triumph. She appraised him of the situation. He was horrified. They spent a miserable night, barely sleeping because of the worry.

The next day they heard nothing; until the late afternoon, when a servant entered the drawing room and said, The police are here and want to talk to you about the death of the dog.

Keep calm. Let me do all the talking, Said Great Uncle. Great Aunty was relieved to leave this hideous situation in her husband's capable hands.

The officer entered the room and, after a brief pre-amble explained that his men had apprehended the motorist who had run over their dog.

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