That's The Spirit - Tuesday 1.2.11

All I wanted to do was a ONE STOP SHOP just like the rest of you. No hassle, quick and mindless. 

NICE.

GREEN SPIRIT it was then. It may be small, but it's perfectly formed and has all I need.

Debbi was on duty, serving the customers with a blithe mixture of professionalism and banter. Two men were enjoying the SOUP DE JOUR  at a table with a view of the shop and the street outside. They chatted amiably together and to us as they ate. 

Debbi and I began chatting about how my head cold is a result of my lowered immunity because of that BELLY BUG I had the other week. She said I'd been fasting and what a radical DETOX it had been. At this point in our natter, we aspied Karen approaching the shop entrance; she was about to start work for the day.

'Don't let her hear us discussing fasting and detoxing.' said Debbi as she made the sign of the cross at me - as used melodramatically against DRACULA.

The moment Karen came into the shop, Debbi and I stopped talking.

'Say nothing.' 

I followed Debbis' instruction.

Karen joined us. We all looked at each other. SILENCE.

'Were you talking about me?' Karen asked.

We giggled and insisted we hadn't been. She, quite naturally, didn't believe us. Debbi, the TRAITOR, clearly felt a need to explain. FOOL.

'It's Missy, she's been fasting,' She just had to say it; Oh Debbi, I thought, How could you? Or I would've, if Karen hadn't reacted so fast. With her eyes appopin and her jaw adroppin she jabbed her index finger at me aggressively and yelled,

'YOU HYPOCRITE.'

The two men stopped eating their soups and GAWPED at us. 

'No. no, you don't understand, I was ill; all puke-n-poo. It wasn't my fault, I never wanted to FAST,' I shouted back, laughing.

In case you're wondering, I love food and eating and I'm VERY anti starvation, no matter the reason, or cause. Karen, on the other hand disagrees with me - totally. She's a FASTING OFFICIANADO, A DETOX DEVOTEE. It all amounts to one simple thing; SHE'S SLIM. Need I say:


NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET?

Debbi and I burst out laughing, closely followed by Karen. The men turned their attention back to their soups.

YOU DONT GET SERVICE LIKE THAT AT TESCO!