Hunkypunky Junky and Boozy Boy

Gerry and I were in Green Spirit a little while ago, before Hanna was served with her ASBO (anti-social behaviour order, break it and you go to jail), broke it, and went to jail, then got out and settled into a life of obscurity

......AND BREATHE!

All we wanted was a drink and in Gerry's case, some delicious cake.

 We got more than we bargained for.

Debbie (my good chum and oft time dinner guest) was working in the shop that day and was, at the moment we wanted to place our order, on the phone to a supplier, which meant she couldn't serve us for a few minutes.

 So we hovered at the counter,

waiting, waiting, waiting. 

Enter Hanna and boyfriend. 

We nodded acknowledgements and continued to wait, with them hovering insistently behind us, becoming more and more agitated.

Gerry, ever the diplomat, engaged Hanna's boyfriend in conversation. 

Considering the lads state of apparent inebriation, things went really rather well, I thought. 

But it was a knife edge exchange.

They ran out of things to say.

SILENCE ENSUED.

Nothing else to say.

INTIMIDATING SILENCE.

Gerry, rather distractedly, picked up the Nailsworth News and flicked through it, eventually coming to rest at an article about creating a series of view-points of our pretty little town from the 'W', a steep Alpine style, switch-back road that abruptly leads down from the Cotswold Plateau into Nailsworth.

Volunteers have been busily cutting down brash and trees in order to open up the view - I need you to understand that!

"Oh look," Said Gerry, as he pointed at the article which I'd already read.

I laughed at the title, which he read out loud, "COMMON SCRUBBERS."

I attempted to tell Gerry what it was about, as far as I could, amidst his titters, only to be cut short by Hanna's very irate boyfriend, who, prodding Gerry in the chest, asked, 

"DID YOU JUST CALL MY GIRLFRIEND A COMMON SCRUBBER?"

Now, Gerry's a big chap, but he's not aggressive, luckily for this overly drunk and diminutive young chap, which led to the simple, kindly response, " No, I was talking about this article."

The Young-Drink-Meister was having none of it, his woman had been insulted and he demanded retribution. 

Well, I asked Debbie to get of the phone and bail us out - which she did.

The moment she asked, "Who's first in the queue?"  She got an urgent response,

"US!!! We're first in the queue," Said El-Pisso.

Great idea, we thought. Just buy what-ever you want and f... O.. . 

Even that was beyond them, due to lack of funds. After a verbal tussle, they left. 

A few days later they were barred.

The rest, they say, is history.

MY AMBITION IS TO BE BARRED FROM SOME NAILSWORTH BUSINESS,

ANY NAILSWORTH BUSINESS!

; )