Water- Tuesday 21.12.10

Sue popped to the loo, I sat, looking around the bar and saw this sign warning buffoons to be careful beside the water. I was mesmerised by it as I was struck that it's a badly punctuated

OXYMORON?

Not only that, it put me in mind of my DAD, because his middle name was

 WATER. 

It really confused me when I was little and I remember persistently asking him why he had such a name. He would shrug and say, Well, it's just a name.

At the same time, on the radio, was THE ARCHERS. We had no TV in those days which meant that this was our regular SOAP. We would listen to it every day, sometimes twice a day, the tones of WALTER GABRIEL floating around the room and drifting up the chimney with the smoke. I still listen to THE ARCHERS now as the 60th anniversary of the show looms large. A village rending event is due that will SHAKE BORCHESTER TO THE CORE!  

• Will the bones of Walter be exhumed to reveal his murder by a current cast member?
• Will Helens' dad kill the entire family in a fit of peak, because of his daughters miserable outlook on life; sparing the baby that woman as a mother?
• Maybe BROOKFIELD will go broke/burn down?
• Maybe all the ARCHER family members will die in a freak 'accident'/pandemic?
• Naturally the GRUNDYS will turn out to be RUSSIAN SLEEPERS and will be barred from the village shop FOR LIFE as a result.
• Or, perhaps, the BBC will pull the series as it will be reaching retirement age and if they don't do it now, the incoming legislation will prevent them doing so in the future. Imagine the savings in these austere times.

Returning to my dad and his middle name, WATER. It was WALTER

of course! Even a daily dose of WALTER GABRIEL on the radio didn't  help the penny to drop. No it took years, which, then, left me thinking, 

WHAT A HORRIBLE, UGLY NAME. 

SORRY DAD! 

: )